In a recent blog post on LydiaForson.com titled ‘Self, Lies And Marriage’, Ghanaian actress Lydia Forson shared her thoughts of marriage, still insisting it’s not meant for everyone. She also admitted that sitting through wedding ceremonies always felt like a death sentence than a celebration.

She wrote;

“Marriage. It’s probably the most dissected, overly analysed and probably ha, let’s just say the theories, experts etc are endless.

Even my views on it is ever evolving and at each stage in my life I’ve looked back at what I thought before and been glad that I hadn’t entered into the union yet. Now before you jump my neck and assume this means I never want to marry, relax ; if anything at all the failed marriages and drama I’ve witnessed have solidified my personal views on the institution.


And when/ if I finally make that jump I’m more than determined to get it right. Because I really do believe that it’s possible to have that fairytale marriage we see in movies, after all, “no be human mind wey e come from?”.

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So why the constant “marriage is no joke oh”, people tend to say all the time. It’s why I hate weddings, note I said weddings and not marriage; big difference. Each time I’ve sat through a ceremony it’s felt like a death sentence than a celebration. And don’t get me started on the advise the “experts” ( usually these are presumably the veterans in the game) give.

It’s always so depressing, like you’re giving your whole life up to embark on an eternal journey of unhappiness.

Be honest a lot of you have felt the same way, I’m just echoing your thoughts.

You can’t do this and that when you marry, you can’t dress like that, you can’t go there, you’re expect to behave in a certain way ; suddenly you become a new person, a “married person”. So wait a minute, I sign a piece of paper then suddenly everything I am, and have become over the years most automatically change according to who?

If so, why are we doing it in the first place? Why just give ourselves such a miserable life sentence? And why are so many willing to jump into or push others to? Is it because of the stupid assumption that “it’s a right of passage,something you must do?”

Is it why I hear hear too many people trying to get it over an done it, like it’s one more thing to check off your list.

That’s why the phrase “settle down” shouldn’t be associated with marriage at all.

What are you settling for? Why are you having to settle for anything? Why do you have to take copper instead of gold because there’s a supposed time limit on the search. Why must you stop though? For who’s benefit? Yours, your partners or societies?

Why can’t you just decide to be with someone because they’re who you want to chase gold with, or who likes gold as much as you so wants to chase it with you, or who you’re going to help chase diamond so they help you chase gold. Why can’t it be as simple as that?

And thats the genesis of nearly all the failed marriages we have today. First of we need to understand and accept that marriage isn’t for everyone, and it’s ok. You’re not diseased, cursed or abnormal. You’re just “unmarried”. And neither are children.

You’re not lacking of emotions, and your womanhood/ manhood shouldn’t be dependent on it.

Matter of fact with the number terrible spouses and parents, surely that should say something.

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But admitting that would certainly kill of business for prophets, juju men, wedding vendors and a host of people who profit from the weddings and careless about the marriage itself.